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I think all parents are different. Some are horrible and do not know how to take care of themselves or their children, and others are responsible and love their family very much. My parents are in the middle somewhere; I get along with them well enough, but they're not my best buds or anything.
My parents did an alright job, I suppose. I think my parents could have done better, especially when it comes to communicating. I've grown up thinking that it is not at all okay to express feelings or thoughts, because every time I have with them, I am made fun of, seen as an annoyance, and not respected at all. This is a reason why I don't talk to my parents, or really anyone IRL anymore. Hell, my parents never even gave me "the talk" or anything like that at all.
I am not ungrateful to them, as I do chores for them, compliment and thank them for the things they do for me, and give them presents when the desire strikes me, but our relationship seems to only be "strictly professional," so to speak. I never could cry on my mother's shoulder, or talk about crushes with my dad, or say "I love you" to either of them, because it is seen as "weird" in my family for some reason. Our relationship is so empty and emotionless, that it's rather heartbreaking when I think about it. I've always thought of myself as lucky that I even had both of my biological parents, but I'd also end up getting jealous at those who have such close relationships with their parent(s)/guardian(s), because I want to have that closeness too.
I try not to be so shallow and disingenuous around others like my parents are, and I try to communicate myself to my friends unlike my parents do even with themselves. The positive parts of my being is not because of my parents, but sadly because of my friends and the internet. My parents did a lot of things that hindered my personal growth and stuck with me, things that will take work to fix, but they aren't the only ones. I think my sisters are more responsible on that part than my parents, but they enabled them. In my mind, that is enough.
If I could give my parents a letter grade, I'd probably give them a "B+". Could have been worse, but could have been better too. At least I'm not a psycho serial killer or something!
How about you, Flist?
My parents did an alright job, I suppose. I think my parents could have done better, especially when it comes to communicating. I've grown up thinking that it is not at all okay to express feelings or thoughts, because every time I have with them, I am made fun of, seen as an annoyance, and not respected at all. This is a reason why I don't talk to my parents, or really anyone IRL anymore. Hell, my parents never even gave me "the talk" or anything like that at all.
I am not ungrateful to them, as I do chores for them, compliment and thank them for the things they do for me, and give them presents when the desire strikes me, but our relationship seems to only be "strictly professional," so to speak. I never could cry on my mother's shoulder, or talk about crushes with my dad, or say "I love you" to either of them, because it is seen as "weird" in my family for some reason. Our relationship is so empty and emotionless, that it's rather heartbreaking when I think about it. I've always thought of myself as lucky that I even had both of my biological parents, but I'd also end up getting jealous at those who have such close relationships with their parent(s)/guardian(s), because I want to have that closeness too.
I try not to be so shallow and disingenuous around others like my parents are, and I try to communicate myself to my friends unlike my parents do even with themselves. The positive parts of my being is not because of my parents, but sadly because of my friends and the internet. My parents did a lot of things that hindered my personal growth and stuck with me, things that will take work to fix, but they aren't the only ones. I think my sisters are more responsible on that part than my parents, but they enabled them. In my mind, that is enough.
If I could give my parents a letter grade, I'd probably give them a "B+". Could have been worse, but could have been better too. At least I'm not a psycho serial killer or something!
How about you, Flist?
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Date: 2009-04-02 11:49 pm (UTC)Furthermore, and possibly even more importantly, you have realized flaws caused as a result of the less-than-satisfactory aspects of your upbringing- and you're working to fix them. We already had that huge discussion about time, helping yourself, and getting help from others, but I just want to let you know that I am happy to be your friend, I am here for you, and if there is any way that I can help you help yourself over these years that we will know each other, just let me know!
...also aghrhgaahgr we need to be roommates.