![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boobsformeI think all parents are different. Some are horrible and do not know how to take care of themselves or their children, and others are responsible and love their family very much. My parents are in the middle somewhere; I get along with them well enough, but they're not my best buds or anything.
My parents did an alright job, I suppose. I think my parents could have done better, especially when it comes to communicating. I've grown up thinking that it is not at all okay to express feelings or thoughts, because every time I have with them, I am made fun of, seen as an annoyance, and not respected at all. This is a reason why I don't talk to my parents, or really anyone IRL anymore. Hell, my parents never even gave me "the talk" or anything like that at all.
I am not ungrateful to them, as I do chores for them, compliment and thank them for the things they do for me, and give them presents when the desire strikes me, but our relationship seems to only be "strictly professional," so to speak. I never could cry on my mother's shoulder, or talk about crushes with my dad, or say "I love you" to either of them, because it is seen as "weird" in my family for some reason. Our relationship is so empty and emotionless, that it's rather heartbreaking when I think about it. I've always thought of myself as lucky that I even had both of my biological parents, but I'd also end up getting jealous at those who have such close relationships with their parent(s)/guardian(s), because I want to have that closeness too.
I try not to be so shallow and disingenuous around others like my parents are, and I try to communicate myself to my friends unlike my parents do even with themselves. The positive parts of my being is not because of my parents, but sadly because of my friends and the internet. My parents did a lot of things that hindered my personal growth and stuck with me, things that will take work to fix, but they aren't the only ones. I think my sisters are more responsible on that part than my parents, but they enabled them. In my mind, that is enough.
If I could give my parents a letter grade, I'd probably give them a "B+". Could have been worse, but could have been better too. At least I'm not a psycho serial killer or something!
How about you, Flist?
My parents did an alright job, I suppose. I think my parents could have done better, especially when it comes to communicating. I've grown up thinking that it is not at all okay to express feelings or thoughts, because every time I have with them, I am made fun of, seen as an annoyance, and not respected at all. This is a reason why I don't talk to my parents, or really anyone IRL anymore. Hell, my parents never even gave me "the talk" or anything like that at all.
I am not ungrateful to them, as I do chores for them, compliment and thank them for the things they do for me, and give them presents when the desire strikes me, but our relationship seems to only be "strictly professional," so to speak. I never could cry on my mother's shoulder, or talk about crushes with my dad, or say "I love you" to either of them, because it is seen as "weird" in my family for some reason. Our relationship is so empty and emotionless, that it's rather heartbreaking when I think about it. I've always thought of myself as lucky that I even had both of my biological parents, but I'd also end up getting jealous at those who have such close relationships with their parent(s)/guardian(s), because I want to have that closeness too.
I try not to be so shallow and disingenuous around others like my parents are, and I try to communicate myself to my friends unlike my parents do even with themselves. The positive parts of my being is not because of my parents, but sadly because of my friends and the internet. My parents did a lot of things that hindered my personal growth and stuck with me, things that will take work to fix, but they aren't the only ones. I think my sisters are more responsible on that part than my parents, but they enabled them. In my mind, that is enough.
If I could give my parents a letter grade, I'd probably give them a "B+". Could have been worse, but could have been better too. At least I'm not a psycho serial killer or something!
How about you, Flist?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 11:49 pm (UTC)Furthermore, and possibly even more importantly, you have realized flaws caused as a result of the less-than-satisfactory aspects of your upbringing- and you're working to fix them. We already had that huge discussion about time, helping yourself, and getting help from others, but I just want to let you know that I am happy to be your friend, I am here for you, and if there is any way that I can help you help yourself over these years that we will know each other, just let me know!
...also aghrhgaahgr we need to be roommates.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-03 12:19 am (UTC)Still! I love them both and would be heartbroken if I were to lose them anytime soon
no subject
Date: 2009-04-04 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 09:37 pm (UTC)No, no, I'm just kidding. My dad is confusing, to me, but I know he has a good heart, so it's difficult to gauge him. My mother has many flaws that aren't her fault, but she tells me all the time how much she believes in me, and that I've got more potential than anyone she's ever known. Of course, I tell her she'd say that anyway because I'm her daughter.
My dad is more able to provide me with tangible things, but less able to provide me with emotional support. It's really difficult, because sometimes I need that more. He's very much a guy who will just say, DO IT, DO IT, DO IT! And all that matters is that you do - it doesn't matter how you feel about it, or your insecurities. Or, conversely, if he DOESN'T want you to do it, in order to do the 'it', you have to fight through all hell.
My mom is more easygoing about those things, but she begs me not to fall into the same position she has. I can talk more easily with her, and am emotionally extremely close to her - I'm not with my dad, unless we agree on the subject, or unless it's lighthearted.
They both have their high expectations of me - but my dad is very pushy, my mom isn't as much. I wasn't ready for a lot of things, and even though people praise me on how far I've come, do the means used to force me there justify it?
I'll give my dad a B when he's sober - and much less if he's not. He's downright scary sometimes, but I won't get into that here.
My mom, I'll give her a B, too. But that's a B overall, not fluctuating. Even when she cries and wants to kill herself, I love her all the same, and I don't think it makes her insane. I think everyone's thought about it once, at least.